VICTIMHOOD

When I was sixteen, I got a job at a local campground where a lot of other teenagers from my high school were working (mostly guys). I was often left in charge of the campground store, the food bar and once even the front desk. On one occasion I was left in charge of all three at the same time, while the guys who worked there were invited to go swimming in the campground pool (during work hours).

Once when I was in charge of the store, one of the guys who worked there came in looking for some screws. As I turned to look on the corkboard for the screws he needed, he flicked my butt. What I didn’t know was that the boss’ wife saw him do it.

A little later, my boss called me (and only me) down into the basement and spent 30 minutes yelling at me and telling me that he should fire me for my behavior. I wasn’t given a chance to defend myself and out of sheer frustration and anger, I broke down into tears. I couldn’t believe that I was being treated this way and the guy who actually did the flicking, didn’t get a talking to at all.

I could have spent my entire life convinced that all men were sexist pigs who treated women like dirt and that I would never get any where because I am a woman, but I didn’t. I knew that he was the exception rather than the rule. I quit working for him and found a different job. The benefits of capitalism – if you don’t like your job go find one that you do like.

A friend of mine had everything going against her. She was one of five children. Her parents were divorced when she was a teenager, her mom got custody but worked nights so there was no discipline and no boundaries. They lived on welfare and occasional child support payments. My friend experimented with drugs, dropped out of school and found herself pregnant at the age of 16. According to statistics, she was statistically likely to continue the cycle of welfare dependence – but she didn’t want to live that way.

She took her baby with her when she went to her GED classes. She worked a full time shift and shared babysitting duties with her mom at the same time she was taking her classes. When her mom kicked her out because she was threatened with losing her welfare benefits, my friend struggled to make ends meet, but continued to work because she wanted something better for her child.

She met her husband at work and they married but continued to struggle financially, even though she had worked herself up to manager, she was putting in long hours for very little pay. She decided to look into going to college and she and her husband bought a run-down mobile home on contract for deed. She struggled through college while working off and on when necessary. She and her husband only had one car and had to work their schedules around the use of that car.

She finished school with honors and found a job. After a few years out of school, she and her husband were able to buy a house. She went from being destined to be on welfare to paying more than her fair share in taxes because she was determined to make something out of her life.

I tell you this because she has a brother who is only one year younger than her. He was raised in the same circumstances, but he is a perpetual victim. He has lived off of the charity of family and friends. He has a daughter that he was prepared to sign away his rights for, until they told him they wouldn’t waive his back child support. He won a legal settlement through tragic circumstances(near a half a million dollars). When he got the settlement he bought a brand new car, a used mobile home and quit his job. He did not send any of that money to pay back child support or put any away for his daughter’s education. Less than a year after he received the settlement, the government confiscated the $3000 he had left in his account for back child support. Shortly after that, he got his girlfriend pregnant, a girl who was a high risk pregnancy, but he refused to get a job because they would take his money for child support. His girlfriend worked through her entire pregnancy while he stayed at home.

After the baby was born, he chose to stay at home and take care of the baby. The government suspended his drivers license and warned him that they would issue a warrrant for his arrest if he didn’t pay his back child support, but he refused to get a job and a few months later, the cops showed up to arrest him. He doesn’t take any responsibility for it, he blames everything on the government, or his ex-girlfriend, or his parents and even his daughter. He expects to get rich by waiting around for it to happen without even realizing the irony of that since he already had nearly a half a million dollars that he blew through in less than a year.

Here is my point. If you don’t like your circumstances, then change them. If you aren’t making enough money, then go back to school and get a degree. A person with an Associates Degree will make on average $8000 more a year than someone with a high school diploma. With a bachelor’s degree, they will make $23300 more a year than a person with a high school diploma. The more advanced the degree, the more money you make in comparison.

It doesn’t matter what race you are, it doesn’t matter what gender you are, it doesn’t matter where you live in this country or your circumstances of birth. If you desire a better life, you can make it happen. I am not saying that it will be easy, but everything worth anything is worth working for. Immigrants who move to America from communist or socialist countries often find themselves starting a business. It is because they recognize what many of us who have always lived here don’t. That America is a land of opportunities. That you could have been born to the poorest family in the country and if you work hard and set goals, you can become rich.

Yes, things happen that aren’t fair. Sometimes the government gets in your way, sometimes things happen that get in the way of your goals, but like a beautiful porcelain sculpture, sometimes you have to go through the fire to become a more solid person.

I am tired of hearing about how women don’t have an equal chance with men in the business world. They absolutely do, but we often take time out of our careers to raise children and that should not give us an advantage over a man who doesn’t take any time off.

I am tired of hearing about how this country is still racist. Of course there are still people out there who are racists (and they aren’t all white), but the large majority of Americans are not racist. The people who keep telling you that you can’t get anywhere because of your skin color or your race, need you to be a victim for their own power. This country was founded in 1776. Less than a hundred years later, over 600,000 Americans died in the Civil War (more than all our other wars combined) to end the question of slavery forever. The same party who argued against freeing slave in the 1800’s are the one’s arguing that blacks can’t live without welfare, that they can’t get in to college unless we make special rules for them with affirmative action. Affirmative action is just a way for Democrats to deligitimize the accomplishments of blacks and other minorities.

You don’t have to be a victim. You don’t have to sit around for the rest of your life blaming the fact that you aren’t successful on everyone and everything around you. You can buck statistics, you can buck expectations and you can succeed. All you have to do is believe in yourself, be willing to work hard and you can be successful. God Bless America.